The Bachelor: Paris.

So, I only had time to watch this show, I totally missed the RW/RR Challenge: The Gauntlet 2, damn and my fav, Ace went home….poor thing! Oh well, I’ll catch one of the many reruns MTV will play on the tube throughout the week.

Anyway, The Bachelor: Paris.

Travis, Travis, Travis.

Is there something that you’re not telling us about some of these women that you’re giving roses too, because I, for the life of me, cannot find the appeal of four of the women you gave roses to last night, I mean seriously…what’s really going on here?

Let’s break it down, shall we?

Kicked to the Curb: Shiloh. Shiloh was BLECH, who cares about her, that’s what she gets for tattling on Moana, Travis don’t like Tattle Tells I guess, but she should’ve learned that lesson in 3rd grade come on now, you were blah anyway. The other to leave was Jenn, I wondered why she got sent home because even though she had the most cheesiest answer to Travis’ question, I thought he would have liked the corny bullshit but then we saw the real reason after the credits rolled at the end with her freaking out about the damn bugs, Oh please I woulda canned your ass too, moving on…

Left In the Bucket: Susan, Sarah Canada, Sarah Tennessee, Moana, Jihan, Tara.

Susan. I really hope she wins because she’s my favorite. She’s sweet and she’s not really trying so hard. I like her too because to me, she’s the prettiest girl there and she’s sweet. You can’t lose with that combination, lucky girl. She also seems like she’s genuinely interested in Travis and not all I wanna sex you up and stuff, for now, she rocks.

Sarah Canada. This girl to me is all about sexing Travis. I can’t see where she’s genuinely crushing on him, wants to get to know him, to me it looks like all she’s worried about is getting the first everything from Travis, and since she didn’t get the first kiss, she was really working overtime to be the one for him, I like her but she’s not my favorite, Susan is. But I want Sarah Canada to be there at the end, with Susan. I’m crossing my fingers for her, but only until there’s two left, then she can kick rocks.

Sarah Tennessee. Can this woman be anymore strange? I mean really, the girl is doing way too much and holding on a little to tight to the, we’re from the same city card. Get real, it won’t matter if you guys live next door to each other, if the chemisty aint there, you aint winning this contest. And then to see her hating on everyone just really aint cute, I mean when she’s not with Travis, she’s sitting with the other girls gossiping about the other women, Moana especially, get over it already, Moana is pulling ahead of you and that’s what you’re really pissed off about, quit worrying about everyone else and work on your own game, sheesh. Please send her home soon, Travis…you can visit her with your new girlfriend when you get home, do a spot of tea or something.

Moana. Moana is Mo Ugly. I can’t tell if this girl is for real or if she’s playing us all. I can see why she wouldn’t be all, I love Travis like the other girls are, she’s keeping her cards close by, doesn’t want to spew her guts out and then he not pick her and she looks like an idiot in front of the entire nation for going on and on about how they’re soul mates and then find out Trav don’t feel the same way, she’s smart on that part, but dude the bitch is ugly, get rid of her already.

Jehan. Send this one home yesterday, please. I am really not seeing the appeal with this chick. I mean, in the words of Meredith and Izzy from Gray’s Anatomy, “Seriously?” Travis you gave her a rose three weeks in a row, what are you seeing about this chick that we’re not? I mean, and I quote again, “Seriously?” I just don’t see it, please show me why you have kept this big ball of BLAH on the show for three weeks, please show me cause I don’t see it. I can only hope that she gets canned next week, I’m going to cross my fingers, my toes, my eyes, my heart and hope for the best.

Tara. Oh my hell, Travis, I’m most disappointed in the keeping of this big fat hateraid drinking heffalump. I mean, she’s got COCKBLOCKING written in freckles all over her damn face. When she bursted in on Susan’s birthday surprise with that other heffalump, Jehan last week, I wanted to smack her upside her damn connect the dot face and then last night when she interrupted the one on one with Sarah Tennessee, I wanted to karate chop her knee caps and feed her ass to the fishes. Is she so hard up for some alone time with him that she’ll sabotage everyone elses chance to get to know him? Does she think that’s going to help her win Travis over? The only thing everyone in America is going to remember about her after the show is, Tara? Oh you mean the cockblocking red head that LOST the Bachelor? Send her ass packin’, PLEASE!

Jess and I were hecka scared for last night’s episode, you see we’ve got this thing where guys that can’t dance and still dance like they can dance, turn us off. We knew that Travis would be doing some dancing on that fancy big boat of his, we didn’t want to be turned off all that handsome sexiness, so as soon as the boat clips came on, I immediately closed my eyes, but I still caught some dancing action going on, I forgive him, but looking like that, I’ll forgive him anything, like keeping Tara around so long.

Next week, sparks fly once again and Jehan comes clean about some big secret, wonder what it is and if it’s enough to send her ass packing, I hope so and when she leaves, I hope she packs Tara in her luggage.

Until next week…

Monday Night Round Up.

So, if you don’t know by now, let me fill you in on a little something….I, Dylan Bauer am a tv junkie.

Like my friend, Holly. I can easily become a hermit, no problem. As long as I have access to my TV shows, my books and my internet, I am happy as a bug. So, now you’re in the know.

Last night, I watched some really great TV. (okay not really, but damn the two shows that I watched were hottie filled and boy oh boy was I happy as a clam last night).

First up:

The Bachelor: Paris.
Oh gosh, so I forgot to watch it last week (was home, was just wishing that it was March already so that Prison Break would be back on, GOSH!), so this week, I was pleasantly surprised when they showed both the first and second episodes, so I was able to catch up on what I missed.

Great stuff, I think. *snicker*

Let’s see, a mini round up of the important girls.

Cole.

Cute girl, she seemed genuinely happy to be there, and she was equally smitten with Travis, was bummed that she didn’t get a rose, last night. DAMMIT Travis, what is your prob? Sheesh…Moana over Cole? Let’s be real now…Moana gives me the creeps!

Susan.

Another cute girl, and she seems to be the one I’m pulling for right now, I’m pulling for her right now because she hasn’t done anything so scandalous to cause me to remove her from my list…should she show signs of being a little hoody who, I will quickly remove her from my list and then hope against hope that Travis realizes he made a mistake and bring Cole back. A girl could hope right? She’s in the lead, for girl I want to win Travis’ heart right now…but I’ve got my eye on her…last night, it was her birthday, she told Travis about it, so he made it special for her, by getting her a birthday cake and spending some alone time with her, how sweet! Such a McDreamy thing to do (and I would expect nothing less from the REAL Dr. McDreamy, because he most certainly is McDreamy!), Trav looked so pissed last night when their little intimate dinner was crashed by the two girls who already had a rose and were safe. It should be interesting to see how those two skanks fare next week…(Tara and Gihan whatever the heck her name is).

Sarah Canada.

Okay this girl is a bit of a freak to me. I’m sure she’s really nice on the show, off the camera or whatever, but they make her look like a freaking stalker on the show. The girl was on a mission to kiss Travis last night, and thank goodness, Travis didn’t let her complete her mission, I would have been so disappointed had he given into the urge and kissed her. Oh goodness, the little hooker wouldn’t rest until Trav told her that if he was going to kiss anyone, it would be her. She swears she’s not the only one preening for his attention. I can’t wait to see what other dramatics she brings to the show, she looks like a little fast mama, but we shall see…

Kristen.

Whoa, was this girl kooky or what? I mean, talk about odd. She was the very definition of the word. The girl cut her orange peel into little teeth and put it in her mouth and made funny little noises with her mouth, was that really supposed to be cute? It made me want to vomit in the most embarrassing way. This girl seriously wasn’t the girl for Travis, she should’ve been on the Bachelor: The Circus and not The Bachelor: Paris. She probably would have had more luck.

And last but not least…friggin’ Allie G.

Oh my holy heckness, this girl took the cake in the loony flavor. All this talk about reproduction…..ON THE FIRST DATE? Whoa nelly. It was no wonder the dumb broad didn’t get a rose. Who does that shat? Allie G. She’s so smart, she’s a doctor, it costs her $1,500 a day to be there, good thing she didn’t last that long, did she? She needs to do surgery….on herself, dig around in that thick skull of hers and find her damn brain. Because as smart as she claims to be, she’s really dumb.

So, as of last night, there are 8 girls left. And of the 8 girls left, I only remember like three of them. The rest of the girls, are all just BLAH to me. But then again, this is only the second episode, now the real drama can start…woo hooo.

Left in the bucket: Jehan, Jennifer, Moana, Sarah Canada, Schoolteacher Sarah, Shiloh, Susan, Tara.

Kicked to the curb: Elizabeth, Kristen, Yvonne and my favorite, Cole.

Let’s knock them out, Travis.

Next up:

The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Gauntlet II.

Boy oh boy, was it a good one last night, not only did the Rookies win (woo hoo, I love me some Ace, but gosh I’m really pulling for the Rookies to win it all, because I can’t stand Derek and Brad and OMGosh, someone shoot Aneesa between her eyes already? I mean seriously…can’t stand the beezo!

But anyway, so last night…The challenge is a rick-shaw relay, but the Veteran team has to pick two people to sit out of this challenge and be exempt from the Gauntlet. An argument starts between Beth and Montana, because beezo’s don’t want to run in the race, Montana wins out and sits the challenge out with Syrus. The Rookies find themselves ten thousand dollars richer in their combined bank account and the Rookie Captain, Kina is safe from this week’s Gauntlet. So, this puts Ruthie in the Gauntlet, the team votes a very vocal and bitchy Beth into the Gauntlet and the hottie show host, TJ Lavin spins the Gauntlet wheel, which lands on the thing that gives Beth (I forgot what it’s called) choice of event. She picks Reverse Tug of War, and since she’s like fifty pounds heavier than Ruthie, the boys on the Veteran teams start crapping in their pants….hehe. Beth shocks everyone on her team, by winning the Gauntlet and becoming their new Women’s Captain, giving Ruthie twenty minutes to pick her shat and leave the premises…this is what the boys looked like.

Awww poor baby.

All Hail Queen Beth! *evil laugh*

It’s going to be off the chains to see how the Veteran team fares under the rule of Queen Beth. LOL.

Until next week…