Reflection Time.

31 12 2005

At the end of every year, everyone and their baby mama takes time to reflect on the past year as a whole. They make resolutions for the new year and let go of the bad things of the year before. I mentioned before that I had ten things I want to work on next year, they are in NO way resolutions (can’t set myself up for failure here, no thanks!) but things that I’m goign to work on to better myself.

Here’s a breakdown of what I want done…

1. Pay more attention to my daughter.

My daughter is 6 years old, she’ll be turning 7 in March (oh my gosh I cannot believe this!) She is pretty independant for the most part, but she goes through phases where she’s really needy. I try not to baby her, which is why I can be a real brute when she cries for no reason. I have to do better by her, I don’t always have time to listen to what is bothering her, I’ll be doing laundry or making dinner and then there are times when I just dont’ want to hear it, *sigh* Gosh I sound like such a horrible mother, but I WANT to be better so I’m going to work on that one. She’s my baby, she needs me, note to self: BE THERE DAMMIT!

2. Be a better friend to my friends.

I don’t call my friends as often as I should, just to check up on them, to see how their lives are, listen to their problems or whatever and I need to change that. I want to be more available for my friends too. I am always too tired after work to call and talk on the phone with whoever calls, but that is one thing that I’m going to work on next year, note to self: QUIT BEING A SNOB, CALL YOUR DAMN FRIENDS!

3. Be more available to the idea of dating.

Dating scares the bejeezus out of me. The whole rejection crap, the getting dolled up to impress a guy that I might not even like by the end of the night thing just makes my eyes roll into the back of my head and makes me want to slit my throat and jump off a cliff, that and the fact that I think I’m allergic to commitments. Come hell or high water, I’m going to conquer that damn fear and jump into the dating pool next year. Cross your fingers that I don’t drown.

4. Save money.

Saving and me just don’t go together. I have this serious aversion to keeping money locked away for a rainy day, especially when I see cute new boots that will go great with my collection that I started, not to mention that to die for purse that I’ve been eyeing all week at the mall, and who can forget about the endless supply of books at Barnes and Nobles? They’re all just begging to be read, and you can’t read them unless you buy them, right? Wrong. This is why one day when you most need the money, you’re going to have it, Dylan. The trip to visit Grace in Australia is never going to come to pass because you keep buying things that are pretty. Stop it, be a grown up and save some damn money. Okay, I’m going to try really hard for this one…really I am.

5. Do more silly things.

One of the funnest things I have done this year is kidnap Hookie. I absolutely love hording this over my friend, Eric’s head. He’s got this adopted frog that me and my friends have kidnapped, mind you Eric lives in Sacramento, I live in L.A. My cohort who shall remain nameless sent Hookie to me this morning and my other cohort who lives in another city sent the Kidnap notice, it’s flippin’ hilarious and I can’t remember having this much fun doing something worthwhile. It’s the total best and I want more of this kind of fun in the future, so I’m going to take time to enjoy the silly things in 2006. HECK YES!

These are a few very small things that I can change in the year 2006, will I completely change them and make them a part of my schedule, who knows, stay tuned to find out. I have so many other things that I want to work on, but these are the main ones. I’ll see what’s what next year…until then wish me luck!




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