Shit That Pisses Me the Fuck Off…

4 01 2006

One thing that I cannot fucking stand in the whole fucking world, is fake ass fucking fans. Those fucking fans that don’t stand by your fucking team when they fucking lose big games.

My best friend, Jess is one of those damn fucking people. She’s got my blood pressure rising higher and fucking higher as I sit here typing this fucking shit out. She’s got so much USC gear it’s not even funny, she’s got all these USC tee shirts from the bookstore, she’s got a sweatshirt that I’ve been lusting after for like fucking ever. She has not watched ONE fucking college football game all damn season, the only time she ever hears about college football is when I’m talking about Matt fucking Leinart to her.

So imagine my surprise when she texts me after USC loses to Texas tonight and she’s all, “GO TEXAS GO TEXAS BEAT THOSE CONDOMS!”

What the fuck?

And then she’s texting me saying she’s always been a fucking Longhorn fan? What the fuck ever. You aint watched one damn fucking football game and just on Saturday night, you was wearing your damn SC shirt all proud and shit, but now you’re a fucking Texas fan?

Well fuck that and fuck you.

The only hot damn reason you’re a fucking Longhorn fan is because they fucking won. So the fuck what. I’ll admit that the game was tight, Vince Young is hella tight, he proved tonight that he was the shit on the field, I’m happy for them (not really, but who the fuck cares anyway). They came to win and they did, SC made too many damn mistakes that cost them the game, but it’s over now…I still love my Trojans, you aint going to see me buying fucking Texas gear to wear around town now, fuck that, I respect that they were the better team tonight, but there is no way in hell I’m gonna go talkin’ shit about USC, saying that they suck because they don’t.

And all those new Longhorn fans that weren’t Longhorn fans BEFORE the damn game started, fuck you all. I hope you all get infested with crabs and STDs and die a slow agonizing death.

Bitch.

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