How I Met My Ex, Paul.

23 02 2006

It’s all Suzanne Brockmann’s fault too. Really it is.

I picked up Into the Night by Suzanne Brockmann because a lot of ladies on this bulletin board that I posted at were gushing about it and being the nosy person that I am, I picked it up and zipped right through it and fell in love with Mike Muldoon, WHOA he’s one hot stud, but more than Mike, I developed a bit of a crush on Sam Starrett, one of the secondary characters in the book and I read Into the Night, not knowing there were many books that came before it.

I zipped through the other books, felt a bit bad because I paid more attention to Sam’s budding romance with Alyssa Locke then to the main couples in the other stories. Couldn’t help it, I was obsessed with reading more about Sam and with each and every other book that I read, I became a bit more obsessed with him and reading his happy ending, if anyone deserved a happy ending, it was Sam f**king Starrett.

By the time I reread Into the Night (it was the last book at the time) I was more than in love with Sam, I was freaking obsessed…ask Izzy, she’ll tell you just how obsessed I was. Sam was all I wanted to talk about, read about (I can’t tell you how many times I read all of the Sam/Alyssa scenes in EVERY book up until then). I would hear songs on the radio and I would try to make the song somehow relate to Sam, seriously??? It was bad.

So bad, that I wanted my own Navy Boy…didn’t have to be a SEAL (although it would have been mighty nice) *sigh*. But I didn’t know anyone in the Navy, all of my friends were in the Marines, but yeah, whatever…I came across a post on the bulletin board talking about being a pen pal to the soldiers serving overseas, soldiers that are away from their homes and everything they know, this person who posted this message was urging us to become pen pals to these soldiers, so that they have mail to open and I thought, BINGO! I can do this.

How the pen pal thing worked, is you would send a message of your own and send it off to this site. Your message would get sent to all of the soldiers inbox and whoever wanted to respond to your mail, would and wah lah! You’ve got yourself a soldier pen pal or two or a hundred. After I sent my mail, like an hour later, I had three responses in my inbox, so I read them and sent another email back to each of them, thinking, how cool is this???

When I woke up the next morning, I had over a hundred emails waiting for me in my inbox from all different soldiers on different boats, in different cities, just all over the damn place. I was flabbergasted that THAT many soldiers, wanted me to be their pen pal. A huge chunk of them were only interested in seeing naked pictures of me and those were the ones that got weeded out real quick. But there was another huge chunk of them that really wanted to get to know me and so in order for me to weed more of these guys out, I started a questionaire and sent them out, I would read ALL of the replies and if I liked your answers, you got another email from me, and if I didn’t like your answers, it was the end of the road for you. I continued to ask question after question until a few weeks later, there was only about 3 guys that I corresponded with that I actually liked.

I wrote them every day for like a month when one of the guys (Paul), asked me if I was still writing all those other soldiers, I told him that I only keep in contact with three guys but I had a crush on one of them. There was one of the guys that I thought was so flippin’ hot and for that reason alone, I kept him around, never mind he bored me to tears with his emails, I just liked to look at him, so he stayed. Some of these guys were something else, they would email me some of the craziest things and Paul, would ask me about them, some of the guys he knew, some of the guys he didn’t, but he became my confidant. I would ask him, if this guy is a jerk, I would have him read some of my emails and some made us laugh and some emails he’d tell me, “STAY away from this guy, he’s crazy!”

Paul and I got so close that I completely neglected the other guys and paid attention to only his emails, looked forward to reading only his emails, I developed a serious crush on this guy. We emailed everyday, sent pictures everyday and when he didn’t get an email from me, he would email me telling me he missed me and was thinking of me and couldn’t wait to hear from me again and then the word babe and love you tons would sneak into those emails and then…and then the phone calls started.

The first time, it was 4:14 in the morning but I stayed up and talked to him for two hours, when his calling card ran out. We talked on the phone once every other week, but we emailed each other everyday. The first time I talked to him while he was drunk on the phone, he told me that he loved me.

I was shocked. We had corresponded for just about 8 months and the closer it got to him coming home, the more excited, anxious and scared I became.

When he came home, he drove out to see me. Said, he couldn’t go one more day without seeing me. Boy was I scared to death. I live with my sister and so, she wondered who I was running off with, but didn’t say anything because I’m grown. I rushed to Paul’s car and we went out.

We had dinner at our favorite restaurant and we talked, we held hands, everything was perfect. I liked what I saw and he liked what he saw and everything was great. We went to the movies to see The Italian Job and (yes, this is when it happened FRIENDS) and then we went back to his hotel room.

We didn’t mean for it to happen, didn’t plan on it happening (okay this is one big ass lie, we SO knew it was going to happen but were powerless to stop it, we both wanted it too much, I’m just trying to deslut my image, LOL, I swear I’m not a hooch, I swear it!),…but one thing led to another and we did the wild monkey dance and I swear I saw stars, I didn’t want to leave, but knew that I had to get back home before my brother went to work, so at about 5am, Paul and I wake up and after a really quick one and then an even quicker shower and then a lot of kissing, groping, losing my shirt and then finding it shoving it on and finally he rushed me home with a promise to come over a little later, he was really anxious to meet my family and I was scared to death, but I put my key in the door and took a deep breath, thinking alright, this is it. Be calm. Everyone’s sleeping, I can just slip in and go to sleep for another couple of hours before I have to get up.

Boy was I wrong.

My brother was half asleep on the couch, waiting for me.

Shit.

You know how brothers are, they’re nosy, they worry and they’re very protective. I didn’t want him all up in my business, so I did the first thing that popped into my head, when he asked me where I’ve been.

I lied.

I told him, nothing happened, we all went out, lost track of time, but that I was with Blake and Jess the entire night, everything was fine. He just sort of gave me that look, the look that said he didn’t believe me. But nothing and no one was going to make me come out with the story, that I had went out with a guy that I met online, have been communicating with for the past 8 months with and then who I got down and dirty…I should have felt like a slut, but I couldn’t bring myself to tarnish the memory of that night, and Paul was so kind and thoughtful that I kinda did fall a little in love with him that night.

My brother and I went back and forth and I stuck to my story (stupid I know, but I didn’t care) and then he told me, “I’m not going to judge you, you’re free to do whatever you want, but I am going to worry about you if you stay out so late, that’s all,” He was telling me this with this smirk on his face and I swore he was psychic, that he knew everything that happened that night.

It wasn’t until I woke up hours later to brush my teeth that I saw why he was so flippin’ psychic.

My damn shirt was on, inside out and backwards. You couldn’t miss my bright white ass tag on my blacker than black shirt.

Yeah, real smart on my part, huh?

HOO F*CKING YAH!

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