My Saturday morning was so hellish I could have sworn the Gods were out to get me. Two of my sisters went shopping without me, leaving me with their two kids. They were supposed to be back by 11am, so I was like, what the hell??? Well, my Dad calls me shortly after they leave and ask me to run over to his house to give my Mom her shot and to take her to the store to buy her stuff for the lumpia’s that she’s making for my sister’s, sister in law’s baby shower. I sigh because I so don’t want to go because my two nieces, Chloe and Chelsea spent the night at my brother’s house so I can’t leave the kids home with them and take my Mom, I have to take all of the kids with me.
What a nightmare that was.
For something that should have only taken an hour at the most, it took us frickin’ 3. The kids were running all over the place, the little one, Chase was opening everything in the store and I had the baby, Kainoa with me as well. Trust me when I say that it was straight up hellish. By the time I got home, which was around noonish, my sisters still weren’t back and my Mom was getting on my hot damn nerves. So on top of having the screaming kids, I had my nagging Mom with me as well.
Oh flippin’ joy.
My sister’s didn’t get home until almost 1:30pm and by the time they pulled up into the driveway, I was livid. Chase had peed on the patio floor, outside. Cheridan had dropped a jar full of marbles all over the damn living room and my Mom had me frying lumpia’s and nagging in my ear about how the oil is too hot, the lumpia’s aren’t crispy enough, nag nag nag.
My Mom had walked into the bathroom when my sister’s walked into the house. Before I can lash out at them, they threw me a bag, with the words COACH on them. I stood there gaping at the bag in front of me and I opened the bag with a quickness to find a Coach Soho signature handbag inside. I felt like a giddy schoolgirl on Christmas morning. I knew they were going shopping but I didn’t know what they were buying or where they were going. And I certainly didn’t think they were going to buy me anything, but they did and I was so happy and to show you how sweet they were, the following conversation ensued:
Me: Why did you guys buy me this? Is it real?
Sister #2: Of course, it’s real, why do you think it took us so long? We had Sister #3 on the phone transferring her money so that we can buy the dang thing for you. We each split the cost.
Me: Are you frickin’ kidding me? *all said while I’m admiring my new bag*
Sister #1: I had to put it on my credit card, because Sister #3 was taking too long with her money.
Me: How much did it cost?
Sister #1: A little more than $250.
Me: *mouth gaping wide* Why in the hell did you pay that much for a bag for me?
Sister #2: Because, after the incident with Trish and then with Kainoa breaking your phone last night, we thought you’d surely lose it, we also thought you’d enjoy this, aren’t we sweet?
Me: Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sister #1: So can you babysit for me tomorrow night?
Me: Scowling in her direction.
Sister #1: I’m kidding, sheesh.
Me: Chase peed on the patio again, I swear that boy is demented.
Sister #2: Did Kainoa pee in his diaper? I hope so.
Me: *Rolling my eyes at her*
Sister #2: See, now you can wear your bag when you come to Loveland and we can go stake out the mall, where I always see Jeremy Bloom at.
Me: I’m all over that one.
Now, I knew she’s never seen Jeremy Bloom, EVER since living in Colorado but I wasn’t paying too much attention to her right then, I was too busy admiring my new purse, I think I was drooling a bit, but that’s to be expected from a purse loving gal like myself. A real COACH purse? OMGOSH, that’s like akin to an orgasm for me, YAHOO!
I was basking in the warmth of my new purse, that all the events of the morning vanished from my mind. I was back to being the happy go lucky, Dylan that everyone knows and loves. But then Sister #1 goes to her Sister in Law’s baby shower and takes our Mother with her, leaving me and Sister #2 (we weren’t invited) at home, just lounging around. Sister #2 was getting her stuff ready for her drive to San Diego to visit with her friend until this Wednesday when I brought up the purse again. The following conversation ensues:
Me: Let me see what you got today.
Sister #2: *while putting her laundry in her bag*, Oh yeah, let me show you. *she gets her bags out and shows me everything she bought, the purse last*
Me: OMGosh, this is so pretty. It’s a bit smaller than my purse but no less pretty, oh gosh this is so the best day.
Sister #2: I know, huh? Isn’t it cute and to think it only cost us $30.
Me: *I turn my evil eye on her* What the flip?
Sister #2: *gasps* I mean, I mean, our purse was on clearance, yours wasn’t. We paid $250 for your purse. I’m serious, *she starts laughing by now* Really, we did!
Me: You flippin’ liar.
Sister #2: *She’s laughing uproariously now.*
Me: How much was my purse?
Sister #2: *In between bouts of laughter*, $35. See? Yours WAS the most expensive one of all of ours.
Me: IT’S FAKE!
Sister #2: Mine is too, but doesn’t it look so real?
Me: I hate you.
Sister #2: No you don’t.
Me: I hate you all.
Sister #2: Oh crap,
So, my sister totally killed my buzz…I was high on life for about an hour before Sister #2 rained on my parade, stupid heiffers, the whole lot of them…but LOL, you gotta love your sisters, we both had a good ol’ laugh about it all, and to be honest, I don’t even care that it’s not the real one, it would have been nice, but my purse still looks like a COACH purse, it’s still oh so cute and it looks real so I’m over it by now. But my sister had me cracking up because after we both stopped laughing and were out of breath she says,
“Oh and I should remind you, I still haven’t seen Jeremy Bloom in Loveland.”
Stupid heiffer, always dashing my dreams. LOL.