Dear ADT Systems,

29 06 2006


Hi, My name is Dylan and I work in the office building across from you guys in the parking lot. I am writing this letter because when I first started working here at my job, whenever I used to come out into the parking lot after work and on my lunch hour, I would see at LEAST 5 hot guys standing around outside their nifty ADT mini vans, shooting the breeze. It used to be a highlight of my day. I always loved to walk out, on my way home from a hard day’s work with great eye candy to oogle from a short distance away. You guys were always supplying me with such great eye candy and I used to love to see those hot guys with their broad shoulders, and buzzed head and dirty hands, laughing and joking around with their other hottie co workers. I used to hear them too, they had such deep voices and muscular arms that made me melt from my perch in my car as I passed them by. My co workers and I used to joke around that maybe it was a requirement for ADT workers to be so good looking because, I really couldn’t find an ugly ADT Employee in the parking lot.

Until now.

I’ve noticed in the last 4 months that I have not seen ONE hottie ADT worker, chit chattin’ in the parking lot anymore, might I inquire where you’ve sent them? For the past two weeks, I have walked outside, my eyes drifting toward your side of the parking lot and though I’ve noticed that there are still some ADT workers lounging around outside, NONE, I repeat, NONE of them are hot, mostly their older guys who are either married or balding or have sweat stains on their work shirts and I assure you, that is not hot…what have you done with my hotties, ADT Security Systems?

You are starting to take one of my gleeful pleasures out of coming to work, why would you do such a thing? I really hope that sometime soon, you’ll bring the hotties back because I see that you’ve bought out the top floor of the building you’re in right now, I see all of the moving trucks with all the office furniture and what not and word around the office building and cafeteria (since we share the cafeteria) is that you guys bought the top floor of the building you’re in and will be making that building the ADT Headquarters, please tell me that you’re not chasing away all of your hottie workers to bring in all the Admins and the old men that sit at the top of the chain at ADT, I would really hate for you to be responsible for making me insane enough to go shoot you guys up for chasing away all of my hottie eye candy…please fix this, please bring back the hotties, I beg of you…

Please, like home dude said in Grease 2…Please do it for your country, the red, white and the blue…or better yet, do it for me, because you don’t want me to get Samoan ghetto up on your asses!

Thanks for your time, see you around the parking lot….

Sincerely,
Dylan

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