Movie Review: Green Street Hooligans.

8 07 2006

Genres: Drama and Sports
Running Time: 1 hr. 48 min.
Release Date: September 9th, 2005 (NY/LA/Chicago)
MPAA Rating: R for brutal violence, pervasive language and some drug use.

Expelled unfairly from Harvard, an American undergraduate, Matt Bucker flees to England to his sister’s home. Once there, he is befriended by her charming and dangerous brother-in-law, Pete Dunham, and introduced to the underworld of British football hooliganism. Matt learns to ‘stand his ground’ through a friendship that develops against the backdrop of this secret and often violent world.

OMGosh, this movie is straight up crazy.

I’m talking, fists flying, crap talkin’, kick you in your head and laugh, then spit blood on you crazy. I’m telling you, those British Men and their sports aint no joke. You see, this movie is about Elijah Wood’s character, learning how to live and survive in the football world of West Ham.

Every football team in the UK have a “firm”, which is what American’s would call a “gang”. But the difference between a UK firm and an American gang…there aint no guns in England. You are only as “hard” or as “bad” as your fighting rep is. These guys kill each other with their hands and their feet, no guns necessary. These guys don’t back down from NO ONE. Doesn’t matter if you’re fighting 20 guys and there’s only 6 of you, you stand your ground and kick the nearest ass to you until there aint no more asses for you to kick. You don’t cower away from ANYONE.

Pete Dunham is one fine ass hottie. Holy shit in the pants, I’m in love with Pete fucking Dunham.

A more potty mouthed, shit talking, asshole you’ll never meet. But hot damn, the boy is fine. There’s something about his personality, the all balls to the wall type attitude, the confidence he oozed and just all around ass that girls can’t help but love. He’s that guy. Leader of the GSE, Green Street Elite, Pete runs his firm the way he runs his life, with no fear and lots of guts. He takes his sister in law’s younger brother, Matt (Elijah Wood) under his wing when Matt is thrust upon him by Pete’s older brother, Steve.

Pete tries to get rid of the bloody Yank, but the bloody Yank in question just won’t go away, he proves to have more guts than brain and that goes a long way with Pete. Matt comes in a pansy ass Yank who went to Harvard, got kicked out and moves to England with his sister, Shannon. He meets up with Pete and Matt’s life is changed forever.

This is my new favorite movie. It combines my love for football (soccer to us Americans) and is just flippin’ great. Seeing first hand the way England’s underground football firms run is just effing great. I loved it, I loved the craziness of it all and I totally recommend this movie to anyone who wants to watch it…though, this movie is Rated R because I swear those friggin’ Brits got some potty mouths on them for real. Every other word is fuck and cunt. Ick! So, if you watch this, beware…the language is atrocious.

But, the movie is the bomb! It’s so the bomb that I’m blogging about it at frickin’ 2 o’clock in the effing morning.

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