My Brother Is a Jerk!

7 11 2006


The brother on the right with the black shirt is the brother I’m talking about in this post, his name is Pete.

So, ever since we were younger, my brother Pete and I have played many a pranks on each other and though I’m loathe to admit it, he’s the better prankster because he gets me ALL THE TIME, there were a few times that I didn’t fall for his pranks, but more often then not, he’d get me, and get me good too.

Ugh.

So many of his pranks come to mind when thinking back to our high school days cause that was when the pranks were at it’s worst, him and his friends were ALWAYS pulling one prank on some innocent bystander and they were always so good too. I hate that they can make me believe almost anything that comes out of their mouths but they’re so smooth about it, you don’t even know you’ve been had until it’s way late in the game and you’re just going along your merry way and then BAM! Something doesn’t make sense and you’re looking around like, “Oh no, they’ve done it again!” But no one can prank better than my brother, Pete…he’s so evil that he can lie without blinking an eye, he can also keep the lie going for days, even weeks. It’s retarded how many times he’s gotten me.

Like the time in high school when he was packing his clothes to spend the night at his friends house that he reminded me that we started school late the next day and to remind Dad. I was unaware that we started school late but since we were having a serious conversation, I didn’t even think that he’d lie about something like that, so the next day at school, I show up at frickin’ 10:25am, just in time for 2nd period. I was sooo pissed off at him and he was waiting there, pointing and laughing at me.

It was not one of my brighter moments, but gosh you gotta admit, that was a good prank, was it not?

Or how about the time, when he paged me and left the number of the guy that I had a monster crush on with the codes: 143 and 911 and me and my friend stared at the little screen on my pager (you know back in the day of pagers, when cell phones weren’t around as they are now) for what seemed like months trying to contemplate what I was going to say when I called him back, I swear I must have agonized over that page for the longest time because I “thought” the guy liked me and I was so excited to get the text that when I finally called him back and found out that it wasn’t him that paged me but my evil brother I thought I was going to kill him, he did too because I was furious with him, but you gotta admit, he got me real good.

I can laugh about it now, but man I was fumin’ pissed when it happened and this weekend, Pete the Prankster struck again.

You see, this Saturday we had soccer games, I had some errands to run for the baby shower we’re throwing for Tiffany in a couple of weeks and then my nephew Chance’s football made it to the play offs so we all decided that we were going to go to his game and support him and the team. Pete called and asked me where the game was and since I didn’t know, I told him that I’d call him as soon as I found out.

The following conversation took place when I called him back:

Me: Pete?
Voice on the Other Line: Thank you for calling your local Republican Party Hotline, I’m Sean and I’ll be assisting you today, do you have a couple of minutes to answer a few questions for a survey, ma’am?

A brief pause.

Me: I don’t have time for this asshole, the game is at 4 in Long Beach and it costs $3 to get in so bring money.
Voice on the Other Line: Excuse me? I’m sorry, ma’am I think you have me mistaken for someone else, but since I’ve got you on the line, would you mind if I asked you a few questions?
Me: Pete? Quit playing, you stupid asshat.
Voice on the Other Line: Ma’am, are you registered to vote?
Me: Huh?
Voice on the Other Line: Can I count on your vote next week for Govenor Arnie? I think he’s proven that he’s more than competent for the job, don’t you think?

Another brief pause.

Me: Pete, if you’re playing around I’m gonna kick your ass.
Voice on the Other Line: I’m sorry, ma’am…it’s still Sean on the line, so can you tell me if you’re republican?
Me: I’m sorry, I think I have the wrong number.
Voice on the Other Line: Oh no, that’s okay…but do you have time to answer a quick survey for me?
Me: I’m sorry Sean, I’m about to coach a soccer game so I don’t have time right now, I thought you were my brother.
Voice on the Other Line: No problem, you have a good day ma’am and good luck at your soccer game.
Me: Thanks, you have a nice day too.

Then I hung up. I sat there staring at my phone, looking at my brother’s number and just knew that something was up. But the person on the phone didn’t sound like any of the voices that Pete uses, so I dialed his number again.

Me: Pete?
Him: Thank you for calling your local Republican Party Hotline, my name is Sean. How can I help you today?
Me: I’m sorry, I dialed the wrong number again, sorry Sean.

I shook my head and said, to hell with Pete..he’s gonna have to wait. So I threw my phone in my purse and went to my soccer game. We’re walking to the car when I remember about Pete and decide to try my luck and call him again.

The following coversation took place:

Me: Hello? Pete?
Him: Thank you for calling Sexy Man Pizza, would you like to hear our specials for the day?
Me: Ehhh, would you quit it already…you stupid ass, the game’s at 4 and it’s in Long Beach, but you gotta pay $3 to get in because it’s the play offs.
Him: We’ve got a large Sexaroni Pizza for $5.99 and you add bread dicks to your order for only ….

Then he starts cracking up, like literally cracking up. I’m laughing too at this point, but I shook my head and was like…

Me: You are such an asshole.
Him: Oh my bad, I forgot….*sighs* Thank you calling your local Republican Party, my name is Sean and I will be assisting you today.

*gaping into the phone*

Me: You fucking jerk! I cannot flippin’ believe you had me feeling bad about yelling and cursing at Sean, gosh you are such an asshole!

And on and on, I’m yelling and cursing at him in the Kids Zone, where I’m not supposed to be doing ANY of those things but on and on I went, yelling at him while he laughed his ass off on the other line, I swear…my brother is such a jerk and he got me good….AGAIN.

*sigh*

Now I gotta figure out how I’m going to get him back, if I can even manage to pull it off, but damn he got me good. So who knows how I can get him back after that one?

Any ideas?

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