Inappropriate Crushes.

23 11 2006


A long time ago, I blogged about Office Crushes. Today, I’m blogging about inappropriate crushes because while blog hopping, yesterday I came across, Kelley Vitollo’s blog on silly crushes and it got me thinking about all of the insane crushes that I have now. There’s three that come to mind and each one are inappropriate in their own way and so as I sit here, I’m going to list them out and just hope that with bringing these crushes to light, it’ll also put these crushes to rest.

Yeah right, who am I kidding?

But anyway, let’s delve into my world of inappropriate crushes, shall we?

Crush #1: The Soccer Dad.

So, it’s not a big surprise here that I coach my daughter’s soccer team and though I’m not the best of coaches, I AM the most popular coach around the AYSO in my hood. And being the most popular coach rocks more for me then being the best coach, because all of the kids like me, haha, all the kids want to be on my team, haha again. But anyway, there’s a little girl on my team who’s Dad is a Firefighter and holy goodness, he’s got the most gorgeous eyes EVER. Now you guys also know that I’ve got this major height snob thing going on where I’m only attracted to tall guys. Now, this particular Dad is not even that much taller than me and still there’s this little crush that spurts to life whenever he comes to a soccer practice. It’s retarded really because he’s happily married and has like three kids, he’s super nice and has that sex appeal thing going and holy goodness he’s got this great smile that make his eyes sparkle and witnessing it, turns my stomach to mush. I know that I would never be tempted to have an affair with this guy because I’m no home wrecker, believe you me, but I still get all giddy when I see him pull up in the Park parking lot and then walk over to practice. I think what sealed his crushworthy fate for me is remember the really old Dad that got on my hot damn nerves and yelled at one of my girls for throwing the ball and hitting his daughter at practice? The one that I got into a fight with, well not a physical fight but a sort of “harsh discussion” with? Well, Firefighter Dad was the Dad that asked me that Saturday at the game if I wanted him to “handle” the unruly Father. I thought it was super sweet of him and I’ve had a teeny tiny crush on him ever since.

Ugh.

If only….

Moving on to Crush #2. The Soccer Coach.

Ugh, this is the crush that I’m actually ashamed of because of the circumstances this Soccer Coach is IN. But anyway, let me fill you in on the dirty down low business. Alright, so this soccer coach is actually married (I’m telling you, I’ve got a thing for inappropriate men) but unlike Soccer Dad, this guy is UNhappily married. He’s got 4 daughters from his wife and I guess they’re talking about getting a divorce, but they’re not seperated because well, his daughter told my niece. Alright, so Soccer Coach is still living at home, sleeping with his wife and keeping his kids in the dark about his supposed divorce, all the while he’s having a wild affair with one of the Moms on my niece’s team. They don’t even try to hide their affair either and it’s ripping his family apart. I guess he’s really into this new Mom (literally, huh?) and so the feelings of his kids and his wife come secondary to all of that. I saw him and the new Mom kissing two Saturdays ago in front of a bunch of his daughter’s friends (my niece included as she was standing right next to me) Needless to say, he’s NOT very popular amongst my niece and her friends and I feel bad for the wife because according his daughter, she knows about the divorce but won’t confront the issue. Pooey on Soccer Coach, but gosh…he’s hot.

And now onto Crush #3: The Manager at Work.

There’s a manager that sits directly in the office across from mine. He’s not even that cute but he’s got this charming personality that draws me to him in the hallway. He’s funny and he’s just so comfortable in his own skin that it makes me smile. He’s confident and just full of all that’s light and good in the world that you’d have to be dead not to be charmed by him. He’s also very single and not that much older than me but he’s my bosses boss. So its totally inappropriate for me to be crushing on him, because well, it’s weird. You can tell by talking to him that he’s got scores of women vying for his attention but he’s not a braggart and I dig that about him. He’s sweet and nice and he never forgets his Admin’s birthday or Secretary’s Day, unlike my frickin’ boss who didn’t even WISH me a happy birthday and has yet to say anything about Secretary’s Day all those many months ago. We have a playful flirting relationship, he’s funny and we like to be funny together when out in the hallway, which is probably why my crush on him doesn’t go away, he’s just too funny NOT to crush on.

Okay, so a funny thing happened with this particular crush last week. We both walked out of our offices at the same time to run to the restroom, so we’re walking in the hallway just chatting away when we hear a bunch of women from around the building talking around the corner, in front of the bathroom. We hear his name mentioned so he stops me and puts his hand to his mouth to hear what they’re saying about him. Shamelessly eavesdropping, we hear that one of the girls just said that she thinks that Manager guy is the hottest guy in the building (he’s not HOT but his personality makes him so much more hotter than he really is, hence my crush) and then another woman says, Oh no it’s gotta be The Husband, hands down, a lot of girls agreed with The Husband and the look on the Manager’s face was so frickin’ funny…it was like, Yeah right, I’m the hotter one. And then while they’re talking, he leans away from the wall and pushes me toward the corner and then walks behind me into the hall that the ladies are talking in, they all turn to look at me with expectant smiles (because they all saw that I got pushed into the hallway) and when they all saw him walk into the hallway, they all shut up really fast and he winked at the lot of them but continued on into the Men’s room without letting them know he had heard every word that was said. And then just to be funny and to assure the women that he did indeed hear everything, I said, “I think The Husband is the hotter one for sure” to which I see his shoulder shaking while he tried to hold in his laugh.

Haha, he’s so cute.

So there you have it, the low down dirty shame crushes that I shouldn’t be having…but what about you guys? Have you ever had an inappropriate crush on someone? Who and share the story.

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