My Honey Baby….Chase…

…started Kindergarten today.

The above video is a video that we took of Chase, leanin’ wit’ it and rockin’ wit’ it to Walk it Out in the car on our way to something, I forget what. But we took it on Chelsea’s camera phone so it’s all fuzzy but it was too cute.

I can’t believe he’s already in school, it seemed like just yesterday that Chase was 2 years old and almost getting my brother, Pete arrested for child endangerment. LOL. But my little Chasey boy is a grown boy these days and pretty soon he’s going to be ruling the school, just like the Seniors at Rydell High did in Grease.

As he was getting ready for school today, you can hear the excitement falling through his words and man, it was just so effing cute.

And as I was talking and listening to him this morning, so many incidents over the years went through my mind and I was like, “I’m blogging about Chase today” …so you guys can fall in love with him just a little, the way I do everyday.

When Chase was born, I was his nanny when his Mom went back to work. I watched him for the most part, but my brother Pete was the one that was really close to him because not too long after Chase turned 1 did Pete start watching him because I started working here at my current job. So, he’s really close to my brother. He idolizes him and just thinks the world of him, it’s so cute to watch Chase trying to mimick every little thing that Pete does, it’s the best.

Anyway, the other day Cool Guy came over to my house and we were outside playing with the kids and just having a good time. Chase was riding his bike around the block, Brenna was on the scooter, riding alongside Chase. Chloe, Chelsea and my cousin Braxton were playing volleyball in the street and me and Nathan (Cool Guy) were just hanging out with my baby, Aubrey. Aubrey’s Mom had just pulled up and she took Aubrey from me when Nathan was sitting in his car, changing the song, said something smart to me and I reached in through the window and tried to smack him (playfully of course) like I always do and instead of hitting him, I pinched him. Well, before I could take my hand away, he rolled up the window, pinning my arm inside his car and though it didn’t hurt bad, I was laughing and yelling at him to knock it off, Chase saw what was going on and he jumped off his bike and came running to my rescue.

It was the cutest thing.

He was yelling at Nathan to stop hurting me or he was going to punch him really hard. I thought he was the most adorable little 5 year old boy in the world.

The following conversation took place:

Chase: That’s it, I’m going to punch you in your face. It’s going to hurt really bad.
Nathan: *kneeling beside him* Give me your best shot.
Chase: *rolling up his sleeve and warming up his pimp hand* Shaking his head, don’t ever hurt my Aunt again or you’re going to pay.

Nathan laughed and shook his hand, telling him that he’s a good protector. And then a little while later, Nathan and I were once again, playing around and the window got rolled up on my arm again, with Nathan laughing his guts out and me screeching for him to quit it.

Tiffany (Aubrey’s Mom) and Aubrey are sitting at the little wall on the side of my house, playing around when Chase runs over to Tiffany and tells her (this is what she told me happened).

Chase: Tiff, call Pete and tell him to get over here right now, Nathan is hurting Aunty Wena again.

It was so cute!

Tiffany was telling Pete all about what happened and how cute Chase was trying to protect me from Nathan that he called me and asked me what happened. So, I told Pete and then I started laughing because I’m like, “Did you really think Nathan was hurting me? Were you trying to find out if you were going to kick Nathan’s ass or what?”

Pete just shrugged his shoulders and was like, “I’m just making sure, Chase was worried, I wanted to make sure that he was worrying for nothing.”

*rolls eyes*

You just gotta love my protectors.

So I was telling Nathan about it yesterday and we shared a laugh about it and then he was like, “So Chase doesn’t like me? Damn…fix that because I love that little boy.”

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LMAO!

So this morning, me and Blanche are getting ready for work and I’m slicking my hair back in the bathroom when little Chase walks downstairs and is calling his Mom. Well, his Mom is curling her hair in her room and the radio’s playing, the TV’s on and her door is closed so she didn’t hear him.

The downstairs bathroom (where I was) is directly across from Blanche’s room. So Chase is calling Blanche and she’s not answering and when he gets right in front of the door, he notices me.

He turns to me and is like, “Aunty my lulu won’t go down.”

I dropped the brush and looked over at him.

“What?” I asked.

He walks over to me and points to his lulu (which is penis in Hawaiian or something, I forget) and says, “Look Aunty, it won’t go down.”

By now, my face is redder than I don’t know what and I’m so embarrassed so I tell him, “Well maybe you need to go pee”

He shakes his head and says, “I don’t want to,”

I push him toward the toilet and tell him, “You have to go pee so your lulu will go down.”

He moves away from the toilet and says, “I DON’T WANT TO GO”

Then he runs away and is pounding on his Mom’s door, telling her that he doesn’t want to go pee and I’m making him. I just rolled my eyes and when Blanche opened the door, she asked what was going on and why was he up so early.

So Chase explains to her.

“I woke up because my lulu won’t go down, Mommy can you make it go down please.”

Blanche gawks at him and tells him to go back to sleep and he’s like, “I can’t! My lulu makes my pants go big!”

By now, I’m laughing like a loon and Blanche is glaring at me while leading him toward the bathroom. After she barks at me to finish getting dressed upstairs, I step out of the bathroom and Blanche starts telling Chase how if he pees in the toilet, his lulu will go down. He starts complaining and doesn’t want to and after a few minutes of trying to get him to go, she gives up. She hands him the phone and tells him, “Call your Dad and ask him what to do.”

So he calls Ron and Ron tells him the same thing we tell him and he complains and he cries and then he hangs up the phone, walks over to the bathroom and closes the door and not even five seconds later you can hear him peeing in the toilet.

He flushes and then comes out with tears streaming down his face and I asked him, “What’s wrong?”

“Just leave me alone,” he walked upstairs all dejected because he didn’t want to pee in the toilet.

Oh gosh, kids are totally something else.

Hookers and Little Warriors that Smack That!

It’s interesting to see just how much kids know about the world these days. How smart the kids are and how fast they pick up phrases, lyrics and whatever else catches their fancy. Coming from a very huge Polynesian family, I always come face to face with phrases that I’ve said thrown back in my face by some of those very little girls in the picture to the right. Over there. —->

You see, there are 9 kids in my family and from those 9 kids in our family, we have 17, almost 18 grandkids between us 9. And of those 17, almost 18 grandkids, I see 11 of them EVERYDAY and EVERYDAY, there’s something new and hysterically funny that these kids do, say and think. They never cease to amaze me. They pick things up home, at school and of course, on TV.

The other day, I came home from work and was really beat. I went upstairs to change my clothes and heard music blaring from the girls room, I walked in and instead of changing, I plopped onto the bed, while the music blared around me and the two girls on the end, Chaylene and Cheridan are dancing. They’re playing Fergalicious and they’re just goin’ on with their bad selves just dancing away and I had my face in the pillow so I wasn’t paying attention to what they doing, but I heard Cheridan gasp and then say, “Chay Chay, stop dancing like that, you’re going to turn into a hooker.”

My head whipped around to see what the hell Chay Chay was doing and Chaylene was doing her little Beyonce’ Booty Shake. So then I asked her where she learned that from and she said, “I saw it on MTV” I told her not to dance like that anymore and that she can’t watch MTV then I laid back down and closed my eyes. A couple of minutes later, Chay Chay and Cheridan are sitting on the other bed in the room and they’re talking. The following conversation is what I heard:

Chaylene: So Cheridan, what’s a hooker?
Cheridan: It’s a bad woman, they dance on the poles and let all of the boys kiss them.
Chaylene: Who told you that?
Cheridan: No one did, I saw one before.
Chaylene: You liar, where?
Cheridan: On CSI. You remember Katherine, she was looking for this killer and she had to go to where the hookers work and I saw the hookers and they wore little clothes, you know, the clothes that Mommy says Chloe can’t wear and Katherine, she saw one of the hookers they were kissing these boys, it was gross.
Chaylene: I’m gonna tell Mom, cause you’re not supposed to watch CSI.
Cheridan: Go ahead, but Chloe’s going to beat you up, because she made me promise that I wasn’t going to tell Mom that we watched it. She told me to close my eyes when they were kissing, but I already saw it.
Me: Cheridan, the next time Chloe lets you watch CSI, you tell me and I’ll beat her up for you.
Cheridan: But what if I want to watch it, Aunty?
Me: Then I’m gonna beat you up.
Cheridan: Oh darn.

The things they learn on TV. *shakes head*

Chase.

That’s my little booger and he knows it. He knows that he can ask me for anything and I’ll give it to him because he’s just too cute. See, that’s me up there giving him a kiss on the head in the pic on the left. He’s my little buddy. He’s the sweetest person in all the world, he’s a great helper, he listens well, to me anyway and he loves to please. He’s a little charmer too, he’ll charm the socks right off of you and because he’s so cute, you won’t be able to help yourself. You’ll fall in love with him and his cute dimples.

But man, does this little boy morph into the Devil’s Child on the soccer field. He turns into frickin’ Troy Polamalu and he runs everyone over that gets in his way. And his mouth….holy crap, his mouth flies faster than his feet can carry him. He’s 4 years old and the things he says to the kids on the opposing team, you just know he learned from the boys in our family.

You see, a couple of weeks ago, I went to Chase’s soccer game and he looked so cute in his little uniform with his shin guards and his cleats, his team is the Green Gator’s and Ron is the coach, to pump the boys up before each game, Ron gathers the boys into a little circle and he starts yelling, “Who are we?” and the boys will yell, “GATORS”, “WHO?”, “GATORS” and then Ron will say, “WHAT DO GATORS DO?” And the boys all make Aligator Mouths with their arms and scream, “CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP!” It’s so cute…but it stops being cute and starts being embarrassing when the boys all run to their positions and Chase is up in the middle (he’s the team’s leading scorer) mad dogging the other team and then he’ll pump his chest out and the trash talking begins…

There was this little boy on the other team that was watching Chase and you can totally hear Chase taunting him, saying, “You’re going down, I’m gonna beat your team up cause you we’re the best” As I sat on the sidelines, gaping at Chase, he continues to taunt the other boy, “You’re going to lose, I’m gonna run all over you” and then the game starts and everything out of Chase’s mouth is, “You want some of this, you want some of this? Come here, come try and take the ball away from me, you aint tight, I’m tight” and the little boys are so scared of Chase that they just stand there while he dribbles all around them and scores 5-6 goals, there was one game where he scored 8 goals, the deal before the season was if Chase scored 10 goals, he’ll get a Nintendo DS, so Chase was all pumped about it, he was like, “Dad get ready, you gotta buy me my DS,” and 3 games into the season and he was already at 6 goals…the kid is unstoppable and it doesn’t matter how many times we scold him to watch his mouth or to be nice…once he gets on that soccer field, he turns into a little warrior.

Frickin’ kids.

Then there’s the whole music business. My family is a very musical family, two of my sisters play the piano, my brother and my Dad play all the instruments and we all sing. When we were little, since we couldn’t do anything on Sundays, we’d sit around the piano for hours and sing song after song while one of my sisters played them, so music is a big part of our lives. When me and Pete were in high school, they called us Jukebox, because we were always singing. Well, there’s a new generation in my family and they’re the same way.

Now, when the kids are in the car with me or my sisters, we’re always listening to Radio Disney or one of their CD’s like Hannah Montana (#5 is my jam) and High School Musical, so imagine my surprise when this morning I’m getting ready for work and of course, the radio is blaring at 7 in the morning, haha…well, my nieces are playing the music upstairs in their room, and I was downstairs with all the kids, that song by Akon and Eminem comes on and all of my nieces…

Ages 4-8 who are putting their shoes on, jump up and ghetto girl, Cheridan says, “Oh this is my song!” and Maleah, 5, the shorty all the way on the right in the above picture of the girls is singing every single lyric with, Makenna, 8 (the girl with the teal Puletasi and the red lei in the same picture) at the top of their lungs…

Here are the lyrics they sang:

I see you creepin’, I can see you from my shadow
You wanna jump up in my Lamborgini Galardo
Maybe go to my place and kick it just like Tae bo
And possibly bend you over, sit back and watch me

SMACK THAT
Out on the floor
SMACK THAT
Give me some more
SMACK THAT
Til you get sore
SMACK THAT
Ohhhh oohh ohhh

So my Dad walks into the house to pick up Chase and all of the kids are singing about tapping that ass on the floor, til they get sore…and I GET IN TROUBLE FOR IT! He was all yelling at me, it was not pretty…Ugh, and then when I asked the kids how they knew all the words, Maleah told me, “Oh my Dad listens to that song all the time and so I learned it from him.”

That seemed to piss my Dad off even more, so I know that my brother is going to hear about it from him, haha…

When did kids get so smart, I wonder?

I’m a Horrible Aunt.

Yesterday, my Dad asked me to go with him to the Cingular store to look at phones because his phone sucks, so I agreed. He said he’d come pick me up and I waited at the house for him to arrive. He was at the store when he called me and he had my 4 year old nephew, Chase with him. They had just left the store and he bought Chase, A Crocodile Hunter tape, yes, a tape, as in VHS, yeah my Dad isn’t hip to DVD’s yet, he’s still using his VCR proudly…haha. So anyway, Chase wanted to go with us to the store, so I let him.

We’re on our way to the Cingular Store and Chase is going on and on about his Crocodile Hunter Tape, he’s in 7th Heaven with the tape in the back seat. Here’s what our conversation sounded like:

Chase: “Aunty Wena, Papa buyed me Crocodile Hunter, he’s the best!”
Me: “Oh really? Let me see?”

He shows me his Tape. I smile at him.

Me: Oh, is that Crocodile Hunter? He died.

Chase just looks at me, with a curious expression on his face.

Chase: “He’s not dead, he’s right here.” (pointing at the tape)
Me: “Nope, he died, a sting ray pierced him in the heart and now he’s all dead.”

He didn’t say anything, he changed the subject. So later on last night, he watched the tape with his sister, Cheridan and then he asks me if he can sleep with me (which is an every night occurence, I swear, ugh!) I told him, okay…so I scooch over to make room for him and up he jumps, he still has his tape in his arms so I let him bring Crocodile Hunter to bed with us too. I turn over and am reading a little bit, when about twenty minutes later I hear him start singing, I don’t know what the hell he’s singing, but he’s singing something, I turn over to look at him and there he is, hugging his Crocodile Hunter VHS, singing, “It’s okay Steve, it’s okay”

I nudged him and asked him what he’s doing and he turns over and looks at me, he’s got tears streaming down his face and he says to me, “Aunty, Steve is dead, he’s dead Aunty!”

And damned if he didn’t cry all over me. What the heck did I do to this poor boy? Ugh, I’m the worst Aunt ever…I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. So, this morning I’m telling my sister about it and she starts laughing, and then we go to check on Chase, who is still sleeping…with Steve Irwin’s tape tucked under his pillow. Oh gosh, I should’ve taken a picture of it, but my camera is being funky right now, it was the cutest thing. His hand was all touching the tape…as if to make sure it was still there.

I’ve scarred the boy.