A Little Jokey Joke for Ya’ll…

27 11 2007

..that made me laugh.

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with 4 young mothers & their small children.

“You all have obsessions,” he observed.

To the 1st mother, Mary, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.”

He turned to the 2nd Mom, Ann: “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”

He turned to the 3rd Mom, Joyce: “Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child’s name, Brandy.”

At this point, the 4th mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand & whispered, “Come on, Dick, we’re leaving.”

Hehe.

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Where Babies Come From…

6 04 2007

A little boy goes up to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?”

The father answers, “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway, so I might as well tell you now. Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via email with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We neaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall and since it was too late to hit the delete button nine months later a little Pop Up appeared that said:

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YOU’VE GOT MALE!





Little Johnny.

28 02 2007

I don’t have time right now to type out a regular blog, nor do I really have anything to blog about until I watch the latest episode of Prison Break which I missed last night because I wanted to go out instead of stay home. So you’ll get my thoughts on that one just as soon as I watch it.

But here’s a little jokey joke for you guys to laugh at until I can come back and write something up for ya’ll…

Little Johnnie’s neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s Dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.”

The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.”

Johnnie said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?”

“Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.”

“That’s great”, said Little Johnnie,”coz he’d be f*cked if he needed glasses.”

HA!





Frickin’ Paco.

3 02 2007

The teacher asked Paco to use the word “harassment” in a sentence. He smiled and walked to the front of the class and proceeded to read his sentence aloud to the class. Clearing his throat he said, “Orale vato, mi ruca caught me in bed with my sancha, pero that’s okay porque I told her that…HER ASS MENT nothing to me.”

LMAO!





As I Mature…

23 01 2007

…I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust and it only takes suspicion, not proof to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes, after that you’d better have a big willy or big boobs.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people because they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do unless we’re celebrities.

I’ve learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be a lot of money to take it’s place.

I’ve learned that 99% of the time, if something isn’t working in your house, one of yoru kids did it.

I’ve learned that some of the most important people in your life are taken away from you too soon and the ones you don’t give a damn about just won’t go away.

Pass this on to all of your friends and something good will happen to you, if not…tough shit.

HAHA! Since I have nothing to blog about today, I thought I’d share with ya’ll something that made me laugh!

Happy Monday ya’ll!