Reflection Time.

31 12 2005

At the end of every year, everyone and their baby mama takes time to reflect on the past year as a whole. They make resolutions for the new year and let go of the bad things of the year before. I mentioned before that I had ten things I want to work on next year, they are in NO way resolutions (can’t set myself up for failure here, no thanks!) but things that I’m goign to work on to better myself.

Here’s a breakdown of what I want done…

1. Pay more attention to my daughter.

My daughter is 6 years old, she’ll be turning 7 in March (oh my gosh I cannot believe this!) She is pretty independant for the most part, but she goes through phases where she’s really needy. I try not to baby her, which is why I can be a real brute when she cries for no reason. I have to do better by her, I don’t always have time to listen to what is bothering her, I’ll be doing laundry or making dinner and then there are times when I just dont’ want to hear it, *sigh* Gosh I sound like such a horrible mother, but I WANT to be better so I’m going to work on that one. She’s my baby, she needs me, note to self: BE THERE DAMMIT!

2. Be a better friend to my friends.

I don’t call my friends as often as I should, just to check up on them, to see how their lives are, listen to their problems or whatever and I need to change that. I want to be more available for my friends too. I am always too tired after work to call and talk on the phone with whoever calls, but that is one thing that I’m going to work on next year, note to self: QUIT BEING A SNOB, CALL YOUR DAMN FRIENDS!

3. Be more available to the idea of dating.

Dating scares the bejeezus out of me. The whole rejection crap, the getting dolled up to impress a guy that I might not even like by the end of the night thing just makes my eyes roll into the back of my head and makes me want to slit my throat and jump off a cliff, that and the fact that I think I’m allergic to commitments. Come hell or high water, I’m going to conquer that damn fear and jump into the dating pool next year. Cross your fingers that I don’t drown.

4. Save money.

Saving and me just don’t go together. I have this serious aversion to keeping money locked away for a rainy day, especially when I see cute new boots that will go great with my collection that I started, not to mention that to die for purse that I’ve been eyeing all week at the mall, and who can forget about the endless supply of books at Barnes and Nobles? They’re all just begging to be read, and you can’t read them unless you buy them, right? Wrong. This is why one day when you most need the money, you’re going to have it, Dylan. The trip to visit Grace in Australia is never going to come to pass because you keep buying things that are pretty. Stop it, be a grown up and save some damn money. Okay, I’m going to try really hard for this one…really I am.

5. Do more silly things.

One of the funnest things I have done this year is kidnap Hookie. I absolutely love hording this over my friend, Eric’s head. He’s got this adopted frog that me and my friends have kidnapped, mind you Eric lives in Sacramento, I live in L.A. My cohort who shall remain nameless sent Hookie to me this morning and my other cohort who lives in another city sent the Kidnap notice, it’s flippin’ hilarious and I can’t remember having this much fun doing something worthwhile. It’s the total best and I want more of this kind of fun in the future, so I’m going to take time to enjoy the silly things in 2006. HECK YES!

These are a few very small things that I can change in the year 2006, will I completely change them and make them a part of my schedule, who knows, stay tuned to find out. I have so many other things that I want to work on, but these are the main ones. I’ll see what’s what next year…until then wish me luck!

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A New Year’s Resolution.

20 12 2005

For the last four or five years, I have made resolusions that I want to work on. I have been trying to stop cursing, it’s horrible the way I am with curse words. It’s a habit that I haven’t been able to conquer, because for me, cursing is so much fun. But my daughter and nephew are starting to copy my language and I need to quit saying things, they shouldn’t be saying. But instead of calling them resolutions, I’m going to say things, I want to work on, not necessarily quit doing, but work on come 2006. I have 10 things I want to work on, so over the next 10 days, I’ll list one thing and blog about it. I’m cracking up already, thinking of my reasons why I want to do such and such. So stayed tuned for that one, but in the meanwhile, I’ll start with…

1. Be a nicer person.

There’s this lady at work who no one likes. She’s the one lady that never returns emails or phone calls, is always late with whatever paperwork others need in order to process whatever it is they need to process and she’s got this rep here at work, she’s the “I think I’m better than everyone because I’m well off and you’ll never get to my level because you’re a pee on” I swear, everything out of that woman’s mouth is, “Henry and I had dinner last night at this 4 Star restaurant and to eat there you have to have big money because everything on the menu cost 50 bucks and more” or “I just bought an Ommish quilt that set me back 3000 dollars but it’s a one of a kind quilt and you won’t find the likes of it anywhere,” The shit can get really annoying. But, I can’t be mean to her because she seriously takes care of me. She’s got a daughter my age, but her daughter (who makes 6 figures mind you, UGH!) lives on the east coast and so she doesn’t see her that much. This lady takes care of me here at work, she ALWAYS answers my emails, she ALWAYS returns my phone calls, she always stops by my office to chit chat and she brings me lunch when I’m sick, she even calls me every Tuesday when she’s at the Farmers Market to ask me if I want some fresh Strawberries. How can I NOT be nice to her right?

*sigh*

This lady is a wine connowhatever, she loves her some wine. She loves to talk wine and who does she talk about wine too? ME. I don’t drink, I have no use for wine knowledge, I DON’T CARE how to tell if a wine bottle is ready to be opened or when the best time to drink a bottle of Chardawhatever you call that wine. I DON’T CARE, because I don’t drink. But does that stop her from overwhelming me with wine trivia? I don’t care how many wine tastings you’ve been to in Napa Valley, and I really don’t want to see the pictures of your wine cellar. Why would something like this appeal to me, a NON DRINKER? It doesn’t.

This lady can talk my ear off about her daughter. She loves to gush with me about what her daughter bought her last. The last thing she told me was that her daughter bought her a bottle of Dom Periwhatever the hell P Diddy buys in bulk. The very expensive bottle. Cost like a grand or whatever, WHO THE FLIP CARES! She kept bragging about it like I was going to be envious cause she got to drink it and I didn’t. I think maybe she missed the part when I told her I don’t drink.

Well anyway, this is what I’m talking about. This lady is nothing but good to me, she brought me a chicken curry plate just today from the farmers market because she knows that I love it. Wasn’t that thoughtful of her? She bought me a Christmas present (not just a card, but an actual gift) and she always lets me know when she buys a new movie so that I could add to my collection, she makes copies of movies for me and she always invites me to go to lunch (NO ONE not even my sister invites me to lunch anymore, how sad is that?) with her and how do I remember her?

I remember that she always drags me into her office to show me crap that I could care less about. I remember that she lied about this 4 star restaurant in Gardena, the restaurant is actually a hole in the wall restaurant in COMPTON, not Gardena. I remember that she didn’t pay all of the money from the last pool we had here at work for the World Series. I remember all of the bad things that everyone else remembers. I shouldn’t because this lady is a really nice lady to ME. I shouldn’t judge her or begrudge her, her little idiosyncracies. They’re all apart of what makes her, HER. I’m sure there are things about me that she doesn’t really care for that I keep telling her about (like let’s see, I like to talk about Prison Break to her and I know she doesn’t watch the show, but I keep right on talking about it like it’s the best thing to talk about with her). I feel bad because my friend can’t stand her, because it was her that won the last World Series pool and she didn’t get all of the money, but I’m taking a stand. I’m not going to hold anything against this poor lady who is nothing but nice to me.

I’m going to be nice to her, even if it kills me.